Sex adventure chat
I think it’s helpful to think of sex ed as an ongoing and developing conversation rather than one event of ‘The Talk’.
This encourages openness and questions as and when they come up, and takes the pressure off parents to get all the essential info into ‘The Talk’. The first fairly lengthy conversation I had with our eldest daughter about sex was around two years ago, when she was 5.
” “Sanitary pads are a squishy pad that soaks up blood when ladies are on their period- you just stick it on your knickers and it keeps all the blood on it.” “What’s a period? A small queue of women were looking at us – perhaps in vague amusement, perhaps wondering why I was bothering to have this conversation right now. ” “Yep.” And off we went, with her clued up about sex and periods and with me wondering who on Earth realised there was a market for ice cream for dogs.
Try to keep things as pragmatic as possible in the first conversations- the different contexts of sex is something that is not able to be grasped by young kids and may be confusing. After the first conversations and as your child gets older, the ethics and consequences of sex are helpful to explain.
Again, it is difficult not to get our opinions too entangled in our explanations Personally I made sure to explain to my kids that there is always a chance that you can get pregnant when you have sex, so it is not a good idea to have sex with someone who you could not raise a child with.
” “When girls grow up- when they become teenagers usually- their body gets ready to have a baby. (The answer being because it was natural and appropriate, basically, and the only reason I wouldn’t have had the full conversation is because of embarrassment, which isn’t a reason not to do worthwhile things). “Ok, so to get pregnant, a man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina and a seed called sperm comes out, and goes into a tiny egg in the lady, and that grows into a baby. ” “At that cafe right there, they sell ice cream FOR DOGS? Here are my tips for talking to your child about sex: 1 . If they don’t seem ready to talk about sex, don’t push the issue.
So every month there will be an egg ready to grow into a baby, and if the woman doesn’t get pregnant the egg and some blood comes out of the lady’s vagina. There are other ways of getting pregnant but that’s the usual one, and there’s always an egg and the seed.” “Oh.” I waited for more questions. Respecting boundaries is an essential part of sex (and of life) so respect their comfort boundaries and don’t try and force the conversation. We don’t call ears our ‘flappy waps’ or our elbows our ‘pointy poms’, and there’s no need to use cutesie language for genitalia either.