I found myself checking my dating apps compulsively, signing on for just one more swipe… I had no idea that guys find it appealing to simply message people and never meet. It was hard to keep up enthusiasm when none of the guys cared about making any effort. Who really wants to be reduced to a swipe left or right? I thought I’d like getting attention from men online, but they were so blase and unconcerned with me that I felt worse than before.
I did not need one more excuse not to get my work done. I made the stakes way too high over men I’d never even met and got sad when they didn’t pick me in return. I got legitimately excited to match with certain guys, but then I’d send them a carefully crafted, heartfelt message and they’d never answer. I clearly took the dating apps more seriously than most people so I had to quit. I already have a tough time believing that there are good guys out there. They were only reaffirming my beliefs that most men are lazy and just want to get laid. Hardly any of them even tried to start a conversation, let alone maintain one. I was on the dating apps for over a year and I had only a few dates, most of which I had to initiate. I wouldn’t count any of them a success, even the one guy I dated briefly who proved to be woefully wrong for me anyway.
You’re literally shining bright like a damn diamond, sans baby. I feel like I get so much more accomplished and have way stronger relationships since I’m not looking for one with a guy. I’m not naturally a slob—let’s get that straight—but when dating, I always make sure to look good.
I actually felt more lonely using them than not dating at all.
He doesn’t look like the bad boy rebel wooing me with his stone-cold eyes. He looks like a typical Boston guy: dark jeans, Patagonia jacket, backwards Sox hat, oh, and completely wasted. He uses me as a crutch to get to our seats and I’m planning my exit strategy. Could I say I was really tired not feeling well after my run?
Could I tell him I had a dental emergency and my gums were about to start spontaneously bleeding? I met the way most single people do nowadays—on an app. Last fall, my sister convinced me to try out Bumble a few months after a devastatingly horrible break up with a man I dated for four years.
So when we broke up, I felt like I lost a part of my identity as a runner.
I was determined to find another runner to be my partner in life. Swiping to find someone whose profile photo showed them wearing a race bib.
Alas, I cannot muster up the courage to run away and leave this mess of a man swaying to “Sweet Caroline,” by himself. My ex, let’s stick with the theme here, , and I had lived together, and even planned a future together complete with a New England house and a dog. When we met, I was an editor at and he was an aspiring sports medicine doctor.