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Unfortunately, the narcissist’s superiority is juxtaposed to an “inferiority complex” that harbors unconscious feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy.So in order to maintain her superior position, she devalues other people who she imagines may have more prestige than herself.In order to protect themselves from further shameful feelings, they convince themselves that they do not have to depend on anyone but themselves.In order to feel safe, the narcissistic personality strives for superiority, and the drive for perfectionism, grandiosity, and self-entitlement begins.These emotional needs that the narcissistic woman displays can easily be mistaken by another as vulnerability and openness on her part, and she milks this misunderstanding by constantly acting the victim.
The root cause of her narcissistic envy can be traced, most likely, back to the serious inadequacies found in the mother/child relationship that she experienced.
In her manipulation she may even fool you that she cares about you, but in reality you don’t count one bit, because she is at the center of her own make belief world where she is Queen.
Her world starts and stops with herself, but she goes out of her way to disguise that fact from everyone she comes into relationship with (her husband, boyfriend, children, parents, siblings, friends and work colleagues).
The narcissistic female becomes cold, uninterested and remote, and the friendship is all but over to the bewilderment of the friend.
What the friend generally fails to work out is that they have been experiencing a utilitarian relationship (an absence of mutual involvement between friends) – this is an inversion of the way the narcissist was treated by her own parents, especially the mother.
I mention friends, but in reality she does not understand what it means to be a friend, not in the normal sense of the word.